I’m Trying to Leave – Lyrics

The first time I left them
My family, my home
They were beaming with pride
As they watched me go
It felt like a calling
I always just knew
That I’d be a soldier
And my number was due

I remember the words
As I stood by my dad
He covered his heart
With his worn working hand
He said “Jonny be careful
Stay safe as you can
We all want you back
From Afghanistan”

So take me, take me, I’m trying to leave
I’ve got these medals, these stripes on my sleeve
Anything just to have nothing to grieve
Take me, I’m trying to leave

I was the driver
We were second in line
It was Matt in the lead
He was looking for mines
He was right to suspect ‘em
He called to my truck, he said
“Jonny don’t go near that
Black hockey puck”

But the blast cut him off
There was nothing but smoke
And all I could hear were
Those last words he spoke
I carried their bodies
I called out their names
They were holes in the ground
They were ashes and flames

So take me, take me, I’m trying to leave
I’ll trade these medals, these stripes on my sleeve
Anything just to have nothing to grieve
Take me, I’m trying to leave

I still see the white lights
I still feel the shocks
All of the close calls
When we should’ve been caught
I’m trying to sleep now
In my bed with my wife
But I can’t kick the habit
Of running for my life

My heart’s like an engine
I can’t turn it over
And I still have the dead weight
Of those men on my shoulders
The pills made my skin crawl
And the therapy stung
But that 40 was lighter
Than the air in my lungs

So take me, take me, I’m trying to leave
I’ll trade these medals, these stripes on my sleeve
Anything just to have nothing to grieve
Take me, I’m trying to leave